Worst Jokes Ever
Your forehead is so big you could land a plane on it.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!
I'd be a liar.
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress up as the altar boy.
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.