Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, violets are blue.
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?
You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find a way home.
What is the bus?
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.