Worst Jokes Ever
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.