Worst Jokes Ever
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
Teacher: What does a cow say?
Susie: Moo.
Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?
Jimmy: The duck goes quack.
Teacher: Now what does a pig say?
Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"
Q: What do you do if you bump into a koala?
A: You koalagize to it.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck it off...
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
What is blue, green, flat, and has teeth?
The Earth, but I lied about the teeth.