Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
Taja?
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.