Worst Jokes Ever
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!
Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?
He won the No Bell Prize!
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
I'm dead! 😂💀💀
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
That camping trip was in-tents.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them!
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.