Worst Jokes Ever

My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!

What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.

I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.

Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.

How did the flight attendant want their burger?

Just plane!

Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!

What do you do when a baby starts to cry?

You use more lube.

Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.

Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.

Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders

I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.

Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?

He grew up a Florida Man, after all.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

A baked potato.

Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?

I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.

Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

How are guys and tile floors alike?

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.