Worst Jokes Ever
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
My sister keeps cursing... so I made fun of her... "fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk", fowl language is for chickens!
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
I made a website for orphans.
It has no home page.
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.