Worst Jokes Ever
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
"We've invented the spade!"
"Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.