Worst Jokes Ever
Why is there AC in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."
Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...
I was going to tell a dead baby joke...
I decided to abort.
What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger.
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
Cunt.