Worst Jokes Ever
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun that fell down the stairs.
What's black, white, and laughing?
The nun that pushed her.
Yo mama so stupid, she hides behind a glass door when playing hide and seek.
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
I was walking down the street when I thought I smelled my ex's perfume. Turns out, I was standing in front of a fish market.