Worst Jokes Ever
brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
A guy is due to meet his friends for drinks at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.
The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"
The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.