Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
What is the favorite drink of a vampire?
bloody mary.
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
I slit my wrists.
Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?
Because they couldn’t call his parents!
Who did yo mama marry?
Joe Mama.
Woman can't drive.
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to the ugly club, they said, "Sorry, professionals only!"
What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?
The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"
Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"
Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.
This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)
I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
Little Johnny was not paying attention in class, so the teacher told him, "Do you know what happens when you don't pay attention?"
Little Johnny said, "No, what?"
She answered, "The principal's office."
Then little Johnny said, "Hey teach, do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin?"
The teacher answered, "No, what?"
"You have a d!ck in your mouth!"