Worst Jokes Ever

I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.

What does Biden do? He does you.

What does do something useful unlike you?

I wish all my grass was emo.

It would cut itself.

Why were the Twin Towers angry?

Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plane.

My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.

Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.

What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.

Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)

No, no, no, I am cool.

What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?

"Under the Sea," from The Little Mermaid.

Do you see the toilet?

Me and a girl went on a walk...

Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)

I think our destination is under there.

Under where?

"Aww, it's a boy, let me cut off the ombelicul cored, sir, that's his penis!"

"It's a girl."

and (DYM 116)

Staring (DYM 119).

at (DYM 120).

Her (DYM 121).

Jugs!

I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.

Friend: "Your jokes are too short."

Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."

Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."

Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."

Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)

What da dog doin'?