Worst Jokes Ever
USS Liberty. Never forget.
It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.
Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?
Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
Your forehead is so big your mum spent an extra hour in the birth delivery room.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
Say "I hate happiness" without the "hs".
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
I just overheard this but:
How do you make a party in space?
You planet.
Why is there more water than water, because water is water.
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
What's the similarity between your money and your life?
It just keeps going down.
Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?
A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.
My dad has a pretty shitty job.
Why can’t you play Uno with Mexicans?
Because they’ll steal all the green cards.
Yo mama so fat, she had to have 5 doorways to get anywhere!
What do you call an injured Panera Bread?
Panera Bled.