Worst Jokes Ever
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
Why was the rapper always happy?
Because he lived life in rhyme.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get DE-GREEZ.
What's a rapper's favorite sport?
Rhyme racing.
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
How do rappers like their steaks?
With lots of SIZZLE!
Why do butts always win at poker?
They always hold the best PAIRS!
Why did the rapper become a locksmith?
Because he always had the KEYS!
How does a rapper like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, to match his beats!
How do rappers stay cool?
They have MAD ICE!
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the "mic drop" was too high!
How do rappers stay cool in the summer?
They drop ICE COLD rhymes.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To make some DOUGH on the side.
Why did the rapper become an astronaut?
To drop some BARS in SPACE!
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To NAIL his performances!