Worst Jokes Ever
Best friend makes joke about 9/11.
Me: My pop was a part of that!
Best friend: So sorry!
Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.
When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
I made a website for orphans.
It does not have a home page.
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.
Why do orphans play tennis?
It's the only way they get love.
Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?
What does a Russian do for entertainment?
A nuclear world fair.
What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.
What is a pizza that an orphan can’t have?
A family pizza.
Roses are red, I am very cool, You, on the other hand, Need to drown yourself in a pool.
The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find their way home.
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."