Worst Jokes Ever

Here via westwingman.net from Veep!

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.

Hi, how are you doing today?

Best chick ever.

Call me at 6969696969.

What do you call a eatable door?

- Coriander 😂

Look under...

Under where?

You just said underwear!

Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?

Because he can't sign the parent's signature.

What is the postman's favorite fruit?

Water-mail-on.

You want to hear a joke?

Your mom.

I always press the stop button to see you.

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven.

Hi, I'm the wicked wiener!!!

At 6, she wanted a happy mama.

At 8, she hated acting like a mom.

At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.

At 11, she wanted to see her mom.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baseball is awesome!

I’m going to be scared of diesel.

What do you call a fish with no I? A fshhhhhh!

What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?

The Beetle!

What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.