Worst Jokes Ever

What happened to the police that crossed the road?

They solved a murder involving the nut case.

Gwen pegs Xavier.

I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.

Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.

I ate all of your mommy's orphans.

What do you call a fat Mexican rat?

Rasmus.

Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?

Because they cannot find home.

My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.

It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.

But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?

Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!

What is the difference between the snow boots on a tree house that has to walk home and walk home?

org.springframework.beans.factory.BeanCreationException: Error creating a bean with name X.

Like if you are in high school and miss school!

Why did the cliff feel offended?

Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life.

(I'm sorry... No, I'm not!)

If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?

I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.

But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.

Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.

Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"

Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"

Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?

Dad: He had a nap.

Kid: Where is he now?

Dad: HELL!

Did you hear about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?

Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?

He had no-body to go with.