Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo of himself?
A family photo.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
Why do orphans love playing with boomerangs? Because it always comes back.
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
"Self harm jokes aren't that deep."
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.
How does a rapper fix stuff?
With a RAP-AIR!
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
Why was the rapper always happy?
Because he lived life in rhyme.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get DE-GREEZ.
What's a rapper's favorite sport?
Rhyme racing.
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
How do rappers like their steaks?
With lots of SIZZLE!
Why do butts always win at poker?
They always hold the best PAIRS!
Why did the rapper become a locksmith?
Because he always had the KEYS!
How does a rapper like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, to match his beats!