Worst Jokes Ever

What disease do you get from eating fish?

Salmonella!

What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?

The worst shits you'll ever see!

What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?

A comb-over.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don't know where home is.

I scored.

Deez nuts eat nuts.

Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home run.

Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?

What did one tower say to the other?

Damn, you looking PLANE!

Gimme a nickel or I'll tickle your pickle!

What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.

What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.

My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."

Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.

Do you know Bumo?

Bumo deez nuts.

Why was the PUBG player sad?

Since all his friends went to school while he went to Pochinki.

Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.

Hey! My balls are on your thing!

There are two types of people, avoid them both.