Worst Jokes Ever

What do robots 🤖 shave with?

Laser blades!

What is an egg joke?

Egg-xcellent question!

How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?

Chip, chip, hooray!

What is a king's favorite sized candy? King-sized candy!

Who is king of the pencils?

The ruler!

I got fired for not doing enough work.

Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.

How do baseballs communicate?

They touch base!

What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?

The color black.

You know what orphans and Batman have in common? They'll both never see their parents again.

What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.

Ms. Norsworthy's chompers are so big they killed a kid once.

Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?

Because they can’t find the home button!

Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

Bully: *cries*

Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

What did the plate say to the other plate?

"Go frick a cow!"

"I already fricked your mother."

What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?

The prisoner.

"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race

You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.