Worst Jokes Ever
"Just say no to drugs!"
Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.
My dad just comes and goes.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"
What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.
If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change anything.
Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they want to feel wanted.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.