Worst Jokes Ever
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Steven Hawking said there is no God,
Then God said there is no Steven Hawking.
How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,
Then the speed bump starts screaming.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."