Worst Jokes Ever
I can hear the whole world booing me.
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after the lesbian vampire was done licking the pussy of the heterosexual woman?
"When is your next blood period?"
How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?
A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.