Worst Jokes Ever

One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

What's the difference between herpes and my dad?

Herpes stays around.

"Just killed a woman, feeling good."

- Tommyinnit

Why did the orphan go to a church?

So he could call someone "father."

My therapist said time heals all wounds. I stabbed him. Now we wait...

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"

I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.

What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.

How do you clean the ocean?

With tide!

Where do orphans have their family reunions?

The graveyard.

He wasn't that bad.

A) Why don't orphans play Minecraft Online?

Q) Because Technoblade will get their I.P. address and cum to their houses!

A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.

Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.

Bully: You're a loser and fat.

Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

They say people are 75% water.

But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.