Worst Jokes Ever
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sister pussy taste funny
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.