Worst Jokes Ever

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"

Look at the comments.

I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

Repost

What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.

Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?

Dad:

Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.

You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.

What is a sheep's favorite soccer player? Paul Pogbaaa.

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not Susie!"

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

Why did the orphan have an iPhone X? Because it didn't have the home button.

I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!

What do you call a funny rapper?

A PUN-ISHER!

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

Why can't fat kids change a tire?

They would eat the donut.