Worst Jokes Ever
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
Your mama is so ugly, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.
So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating, and I said to her, "You're starting to sound like my wife."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
Anal intercourse is for assholes.