Worst Jokes Ever
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his parents.
Oasis, am I right?
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.
Why do orphans love tennis?
Because it is the only place they can get love.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.