Worst Jokes Ever

Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

Q: What do you call a gang of emos?

A: Suicide Squad.

What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.

Eat cockroaches.

What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?

A black alien.

Why do midgets giggle when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

Why do orphans love tennis?

Because it is the only place they can get love.

Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."

Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.

What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!