Worst Jokes Ever

What does an orphan call a family picture?

A selfie.

I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.

Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.

Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."

Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

What do you call my friends?...

Short.

Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.

Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.

Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

How did Helen Keller drive?

One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.

Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.

Cool people: I can do anything.

Normal people: I can do nothing.

Do you play COC?

Because it’s a pretty good game.

South Tower: Man, that was da bomb.

North Tower: No, that was da plane.

What's a gun's favorite type of literature?

Magazine.

A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.

“Those are just contractions.”