Told jokes

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.

Somebody told me to type "Up" by Cardi B. So here it goes:

Up

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, I'm just a burden.

I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"

My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.

A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.

You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.

I saw Simba walking slowly.

I told him "Mufasa!"

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.

You know what I told my little brother plane?