I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
I would of told you a Chesey pun but it was too cheasy *picks up these*
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends family and food?
Someone told him that Shelby coming round the mountain.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery story. The young boy then screams to a random woman “ your an ugly bitch”. The mother grabs her son, and says “ I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you haven't told her for twice
A gay guy asked me for directions, so I told him to go straight.
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.
I saw Simba walking slowly....
I told him "Mufasa"
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
some man was walking too slow so i told him to Mufasa
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
Humpty Dumpty felled off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call. He got hurt in a egg-cident & it never got eggs-elent. When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower. It happened too fast, he watched the very last. Next he died, eaten all fried.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
