I Left my Avatar at home today
Blame Austria for creating Hitler who we know today. He failed art school.
Today there was a line to punch me. Yeah that was the PUNCH LINE.
what did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant? who's the specialty today.
Met the emo kid today he was pretty chill he was just hanging out
I was at school today and one of my friends said after a test man that was hard. After that I started laughing and I said that’s what she said.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare😢😢😢
hey how is everone today :) cause am feeling great
My sister lost two things today 1: Her virginity 2: Her job at the zoo
Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun, he tagged my friend really good. At the end he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher VICTORY ROAYAL ✌
I woke up today and my mom said it was 1940
I took my mother in law out today...
I love being a sniper...
I asked my friend "Hey did you get a haircut and she said no" and then I'm like really then why are you bald today.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
Pulled pork? Yeah i cranked my hog today too.
Hi how are you busy doing today did I have to text more today after dinner I did text and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠 night is so nice 👍 I did not walk away but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home can you walk
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
i bought drugs today.
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
today i saw my son lick out a tub of butter, i told him to make a sandwitch without butter for a week (as a punishment) he said 'ok' and licked the bread. 'it's really easy to spread' he said. LOL!
