will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today! beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that! will: Yey! beverly: What should we bring him? will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* come in the bucket!
POV: Wine Taster in hell
I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."
Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night I did not have time today I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner I
I called my dog 5 miles. Today, I fan over my miles.
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
Today i went to get a sub and they asked me if i wanted all vegetables.. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
my sister said im stupig todah and shes the on whu wrot dis
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked where’s your parents she said gone my dad when to go get the milk and never came back and I said oof
Today is the day, time for more jokes!
my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn't good
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said “don’t bother sweeping him son, hes been dusted for years” I was shocked but not surprised.
I was dying when i called my sister and she said "Hi this is pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic your loss our sauce how may i help you today."
What do you say to your pet when your super tired, slow, and worn out?
I'm totally dogging it today...
What time is it when you can walk walk home from school today and walk walk
I did a walk today but it was so much better and a walk home 🏠 I had dinner 🍴 night was good fun at home 🏡 night was good night night I was a little off but you were so fun to be a night
My son wore his new 'Go Vegan' Hoodie for the first time today and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked & spat on!!!! And he's not even left the house yet!!!
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today. I mean he just blew up overnight
Today sucked my girlfriend got hit by a car and I lost my job as an Uber driver
Husband: my wife and I went to the beach today Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit Husband: The second we entered the beach Pedestrians: TSUNAMI TSUNAMI
