Time jokes
Happy new year! 🥳
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
What time is it when you cannot do anything?
I love time.
What time is your name from? Any time.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Why is time important? To not be late.
Say "beans" fast three times.
Now you’re an idiot.
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
The Cheerio Joke
Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.
So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.
The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."