You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you
Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls the guy says " Are you a parking ticket, cause you got fine written all over you" The girl turn and say "How about you pay for them and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you"
A man got pulled over and the policeman had stepped out and said do you know how fast you were going and the man said I was trying to catch up with the traffic and the officer said there is no traffic the man said exactly that’s how far behind I am
The police police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
When I was younger i went to an indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the Cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly". So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.
Why can't orphans go to movies There Pg 13 movies
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft LOTTO?
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if your on titanic buying the tickets was a wast of money- Ice burg
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries. A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life.” -Sun Tzu
Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.
Leo must be a PARKING TICKET... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok he didn't either!
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day. Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first. Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am. Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet. Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you. Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you. Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down. Most restaurants are closed at night.. but your legs aren’t. I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out. Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight. Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately... but I hope it’s you. Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream. Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you. Do you sing in the shower? Because if so I need a private ticket of your concert. Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between. Are you a blanket? Because your on top of me every night. Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7. Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream. I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not. Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down. Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up. Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
