So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
Why can't orphans go to movies There Pg 13 movies
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
You’re so trash that when I dropped you off I got a ticket for littering.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
What do retarded cops give tickets for
going over 45 in a potato zone
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok he didn't either!
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
