Why did the orphan cross the street because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side

Yo mama so stupid she thought a jigsaw meant dancing with a saw

i was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only i thought it was sodium funny

When your mom comes in at night then sees your… Sleeping, but sees something moving so she gets a chair and wacks it then she says" I thought it was a mouse 🐁"

A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck’s house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.

The red neck replied that it wasn’t easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.

Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said “it’s a deer.” The other said it “No it’s a coyote.” The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.

I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said “autistic child zone”. Then I thought to myself Oh shit that wasn’t a dog!

I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and i thought, huh, that’s a little con-descending

Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gunna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘ re re‘ and your like ‘ re re ‘ yourself motherf*ucker and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SUPRIZE the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!

Me and Jesus are really close he even turns the light on for me when i go pee in the middle of the, well that is what i thought until the fridge was wet.

My step bro thought I was single and tried to Take me but I said I’m take and guess what he did cried".
Why wwhy would u do that

I went to China and said I have a big cock so they thought I said they look like a cock then I realised I said it in English

Girl:Hey Boy: Hi? Girl:I need to tell u something… Boy:WHAT? Girl:I like u Boy:And I hate u Boy:YOUR A CHICKEN 🐔🐔 🐔 Girl:I HATE U YOU POOP💩💩💩💩 Girl:LOSER L Boy: I thought u said U liked me Girl:SHUT UP CHICKEN/POOP💩💩🐔 🐔 Boy: GIRL BYE Girl:Bye felisha

I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might DRUM up and appetite

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,“Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders”

we saved a Swiss flag from a house fire i thought that`s a plus

I NAMED MY DOG J AND everyone thought I SAID JAM

What happend when obama ran for president ?

The whole us thought holy hell its osama bin laden thought he was dead.

Yo mama so stupid she thought that fruit punch was a boxer

a doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to him self this is wrong but some doctors do it… he is a vet

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