Thought jokes

All these jokes really hijacking my mind.

Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"

Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”

Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was a brick wall.

I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.

What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

Imagine.

You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.