This jokes

Child

  • Have a sink in your house? Eat it.

    Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.

    Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.

    ...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4

    Roblox

  • Roblox jokes on this page in a nutshell: something about Roblox girlfriends, and "Add me on Roblox. My name is Sonicboy100299easyarsenaltowerofhellproxdlol."

    Pencil

  • You remind me of a pencil.

    Why?

    Because at one time, you actually made a valid point. This time, everything is pointless with you around.

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  • Difference

  • What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?

    An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!

    Wank

  • Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

    You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...

    Rifle

  • This is rifle. ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一 He needs help being spread across this website. Copy this message and paste it on any joke upon this website. Spread and save rifle.

    Girlfriend

  • My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.

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  • Hole

  • In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.

    The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.

    The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.

    In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.

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  • Shit

  • I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!

    Cat

  • READ THIS OUT LOUD:

    This is this cat.

    This is is cat.

    This is how cat.

    This is to cat.

    This is keep cat.

    This is an cat.

    This is idiot cat.

    This is a busy cat.

    This is for cat.

    This is forty cat this is seconds cat.

    NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

    Santa

  • I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

    Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

    I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

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  • Parent

  • My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.

    Bank

  • I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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  • Place

  • Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.

    Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.

    I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.

    Maybe I'm just too old at this point.

    Job

  • So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

    One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.

    Butt

  • This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."

    Abuse

  • My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.