This jokes

Seal

    • I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

    Legal Action

    • Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!

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    • This memes

    Song

    • This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ

    "He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."

    Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(

    Stroke

    • This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

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    • Cupcake

    • So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."

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    • Man

    • This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"

    The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.

    Day

    • Hey guys, how was your day?

    If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

    I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

    Worm

    • A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

    A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

    BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

    NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

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    • Workout

    • Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

    Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

    1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

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    • Whore

    • I'm Alya. I'm a dumb whore who ruins people's fun on this sight made for jokes with categories for orphan jokes, but I like ruining people's fun.

    Orphan

    • An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.

    "I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.

    Guy

    • A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”

    He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”

    He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”

    “No, this is the rink manager!”

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    • Difference

    • What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!