Think jokes
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys đ
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
"911, whatâs your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
âI think my daddy want to kill me,â the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughterâs voice.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.
If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
Like if you think I'm stupid.
You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.
Eugenics is Hitler-like and, more importantly, feminist thinking.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I donât think you wouldâve given me consent.
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.