Thieving Jokes

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant. Dirty bastards.

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Police officers hope you’re a criminal. Doctors hope you get sick. Mechanics hope you get car troubles. But only thieves wish you prosperity. Weird?

Yo mama's so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.

Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.

Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.

So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.