They're jokes
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
If you're ever bored just fuck some orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
'Cause they're family sized!
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
I don't like stairs. They're always up to something.
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
I swear your eyebrows have attachment issues, they're touching right now.
How are Fortnite cards and orphans similar? They're given away.
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.
Emo people are like other emo people, they're emo. Laugh now or I'll cut your eyes out. Tee hee!
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
Why do Imagine Dragons dream about mythical creatures?
Because they're believers.
Why do people think about handsome boys at night?
Because they're dreamy!