They jokes

Heterosexual men

    • Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.

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    • Privilege

    • Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.

    Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.

    Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.

    Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.

    Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.

    Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.

    Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.

    Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)

    Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.

    Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.

    Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.

    Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.

    Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.

    So it is women who have more rights.

    So shut up, feminists, please.

    Family Secret

    • Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."

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    • Lunch

    • Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J!" Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter "go buy yourself something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice!" They both look at Craig as he pulls out a letter. Craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THEIR BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throws down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"

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    • Hypocrisy

    • Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".

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    • Car

    • Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"

    Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."

    A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.

    Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."

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    • Year

    • They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.

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