They jokes
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."
Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.