What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.
Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
The happier they get, the less they see.
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home to do it at.
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
How do emo kids complement each other?
They say, "I like ya cuts g."
