They jokes
Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone "father."
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Memes
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.
Why are the twin towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain.
Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.
Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.