They jokes
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.
Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.
Before the class starts
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
Because they don’t deserve rights!
What do Indians call their father when they are born?
Data.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner? You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...
Neither have they.(:
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.