They jokes
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until they see their parents.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
What do they say when they answer the phone???
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
What’s the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
In a world bizarre, Penis burgers, strange delight, Tantalizing taste.
Buns shaped curiously, Meat, a bold centerpiece, Lingering delight.
Sizzling grill, they sizzle, Juicy secrets unfold, Hidden pleasures found.
Tempting, yet absurd, Controversial cuisine, Curiosity piques.
Daring, adventurous, Palates embark on a quest, Uncharted flavors.
But let us not dwell, On the phallic form they hold, For taste transcends all.
Beyond flesh-shaped buns, Flavors dance upon our tongues, A feast for senses.
So let us partake, In this culinary art, With open-minded hearts.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes? They never grow old.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
Why is England so bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they lost their queen.
What was the last thing going through the 9/11 victims' minds?
They don't say "shit for brains" for nothing. 🤣🤣
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.