Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."
They Jokes
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don't like fast food.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
eBay is so useless.
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t have a home to run to.
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Why do high tides come up so high?
Because they come up to say hi.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni, and they only got plane.
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
What do Germans do to ask a question? They salute.
I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.
They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They wanted pepperoni, but got plane instead.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, and I got plane'd.
