They jokes
What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?
They both go "Ping" when they are done.
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They never can make it home.
Why are grapes never alone?
Because they hang out in a bunch!
Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.
Why do orphans have no home?
Because they didn't have a family to give them one.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!
Who were the fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 95 stories in 10 seconds.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
They're blooming a gay chicken.
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.