They jokes
Did you hear about the tourist that came to New York? Good, because they were a terrorist... When they were asked why they were traveling, they just mispronounced it.
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
I don't joke about paraplegics; they wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves.
Did you know they made a porn site for pirates?
It's called Heavy Arrrrrrg.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Jake who woke up one morning to find his wife and her wheelchair missing. He searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, he put up posters all over town offering a reward.
Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.
Your family is so messed up that they shared one brain cell to have you even exist.
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
I complained to my landlord that carpenter ants were getting into the timbers. He was dismissive.
"They're Karen Carpenter ants, they don't eat much of anything."
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.
What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?
They both drive with their blinker on.
Who are the fastest readers ever? 9/11 victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.
You know what they call pineapples in Paris?
I don't know, what?
Anus.
Why can't two eggs tell jokes?
Because they will crack each other up!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They won't be able to find home.
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!
Why did the three 23s not go to the orphanage?
Because they already 69'd.
Why cant Americans play chess?
Because they lost their towers...