They jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
They need a parent's signature.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
Barbie
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
Man, I didn't know they put Humpty Dumpty back together!
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Why can't orphans be home schooled?
Because they have no parent to home school them.
Why are pirates named pirates?
Cuz they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?
Because they literally can't even.
When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they are fucking assholes.
Why were the Twin Towers angry on 9/11?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got instead was plane.
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!