They jokes

How do goldfish know when to eat?

They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.

I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?

What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.

The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.

What's the best part about beating up an orphan?

They can't tell their parents.

Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?

Because they can't make it to home.

I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!

Why do orphans have phones?

Because they don't know how to call home.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

So I laughed at their chalk outline.

Did you hear about the new doggy condos?

Apparently they are now releasing!

Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.

Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?

They don’t know what home is.

A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.

Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?

A: Because they don't have any parents.

Why does an orphan play soccer?

Because it's the only love they get.

Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"

Why cant Americans play chess?

Because they lost their towers...