They jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know how to get to home.
Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
They are delicious.
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where the home plate is.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.
Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.
Why can't orphans have a girlfriend?
They have no one to call "daddy."