They jokes

Divorce

Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?

Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.

Blood

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

Elephant

Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?

Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.

Orphan

When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Udder

I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.

They brought it over but spilled it on me.

I said that was a udder failure!

Food

A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!

B: Thank you.

A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!

Wall

I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?

Anxiety

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because they love serving up HOT BEATS!

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a fisherman?

Because they loved dropping BASS.

Sock

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

Batter

What does cake and baseball have in common?

They both need a batter.