They jokes
Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?
A: Because they get liked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home, lol.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home base to run to.
Why don’t Belgians eat shit sandwiches?
They don’t fancy bread!
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Hi guys, I'm back, and YES, two jokes/blogs in one day. I KNOW. I just have nothing to do!!! So today I'm going to tell you how to get what you want from your parents!!! And there will be a joke at the end too. Enjoy!
So the prank that I have for you guys today is, make sure you have glue, dye, and a toothbrush that is not yours >:) So you are going to put the dye in the glue and then put the glue on the toothbrush and give it to your sibling and say, "Here. I got your toothbrush ready for you." Then, make sure they take it. Once they take it, run so that they cannot hit you once they taste it.
Thanks for reading this prank today guys!!! I hope it works out for you, and I can't wait to hear what happens with you guys in the comments below, so make sure to comment and tell me what happened when you pulled this prank!! Sorry, Prankster, if this is offensive to you since you do pranks too. I will not do them anymore if you don't want me to :) Thanks for reading guys, and here is that joke I told you about :)
Yo mama is so fat, when she got in the car, the wheels popped.
So I know this was not the best joke, and I can do better, but I will keep trying and see you guys next time! Bye!!! :)
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."
The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."
The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
What do old people have when they are sick.
A going away party.
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until they see their parents.
I complained to my landlord that carpenter ants were getting into the timbers. He was dismissive.
"They're Karen Carpenter ants, they don't eat much of anything."
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!