They Jokes

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

More like so they can fuck him, am I right?

Note to all.

My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!

Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.

They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.

How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.

A man with glasses says, "I DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM GIRLS!" In the second image, he says, "'CAUSE THEY DON'T TALK TO ME!" There are two women in the background of both images, looking indifferent.

What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?

Nothing, they both can’t breathe.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

You wanna hear a joke?

Two Emos hanging out under a tree.

How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!

What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.

Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?

Because they can’t hit the home button.

Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?

Because they fear him.

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.