Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose!
They Jokes
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
Stormtroopers, I guess they never miss, huh?
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?
So they can reach the top of the desk.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
