They jokes
Why are mountains so smart?
'Cause they have a degree.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common?
They both hang from the tree.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
Why do school shooters have the best shots?
They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t get to home run!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why are fish smart?
They live i a school.