They jokes

How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

Why do priests appreciate educated children?

They don't spit.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's?

They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

Little Johnny is walking around and peeks in his parents' room, catching them having sex. So he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply, "Nothing, nothing! We're just, uh, making cake," and they send him away.

So he continues walking around, and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother's room. He walks in and catches his brother and his brother's girlfriend having sex and then asks him, "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells, "Get out! We're making cake!"

So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says, "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night, huh?" and she replies, "OMG! How'd you know!?" and Johnny replies, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."

Why don’t mountains catch colds?

They wear snow caps.

In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.

What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

They can never make it home.

A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked if she wanna. Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and they had a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill, now they have a son.

I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.

We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?

They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.